Happy birthday Angelina Jolie!

Happy belated birthday, Ange!

It sure does take two to tango, what a fiery scene!?

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I was supposed to post this yesterday ON her actual birthday, but that didn't work out... just like most marriages these days. I'm kidding. I have complete faith in the institution *wink wink*.

Anyway, to celebrate the birthday of this sexy goddess, I shall be exploring the many stages of the love story that is Mr. and Mrs. Smith.   

Firstly, where would a relationship be without the meet-cute in a hotel, and the frivolous sex that follows?

Apparently he had to milk a goat himself. Not a euphemism!

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Talk bout self-indulgence... on OUR behalf.

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Of course, after the lustful sex comes the marriage, which involves :

Awkward dinners...

... If you can't hold a decent dinner conversation, anything involving the bedroom or bathroom will be just as bland and, well, awkward.
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What baffles me is how these two can be in the same room without having *constant, unrelenting, not stopping for like...* How!?

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Of course there's the occasional *eating out*...

... And a girl's gotta eat, actually Mr. Smith is more likely the promiscuous one. I just couldn't find the photographic evidence. Whatever, nothing's half as smokin' as Angelina in leather. 

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Good old, useless marriage-counselling. Always hilarious.

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Fortunately, they're also deadly assassins, which means their fights are a lot more -let's say- stimulating.

*Damn! Now, I have to wash that.*
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Passive-aggressive thigh-stroking is definitely IN.

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Everything changes when you're no longer killing each other for the fun of it.

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See, not so cavalier anymore.

This brings sleeping on the couch to a whole new level. Literally!

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That's sentimentality OUT the window, or perhaps not, might be another photo of ... I digress.

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Lastly, no one is going to sit through a couple's fight unless it results in steamy ... or a divorce. 

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Here's the aftermath... oh Lordy Lord!

Well, what happens in fight club stays in fight club, but CLEARLY they get on like a house on fire.

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I hope that was refreshing escapism, now, we must all return to our humdrum existence.

I'm anxiously awaiting your Maleficent, my dear! Give us HELL.

P.S. I Love Ange, this film and y'all. OH Brad, I haven't forgotten about you, I shall be blogging about Inglorious Basterds tonight. Stay sexy!