The Tourist

GREETINGS everyone... It's almost 2011. SO! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Remember to have fun, BUT also to not procrastinate. Anyways, I spent 103 min of my NYE watching the much HYPED-ABOUT on-screen-union of JOLIE and DEPP. I'm sure you remember that I am an ALMOST-CRAZY Jolie fan. Depp... well, what human could possibly be oblivious to his quirks and charms. So naturally, I was ultra excited about seeing this film... even though, it has been unanimously slammed by critics.

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The first few scenes of the film are ELECTRIFYING-filled with glamorous style and entertaining wit. Jolie is RAVISHINGLY BEAUTIFUL in every scene, and Depp is quite charming. However, after the train scenes, everything becomes extremely slow paced and dull. NO ONE cares about what the police are doing... how about add ROMANCE!? In the early scenes, Jolie and Depp seem to have a natural chemistry, but as the film rolls on they lose that 'click'. This film relies almost-solely on its' two MEGAstars; each star shines by brightly by themself but fail to dazzle as a couple. DAMN!

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I have no choice but to TRASH the script. The script is confused. It wants to do TOO MANY THINGS and fails to deliver on, perhaps, every aspect. I can't judge how surprising the twists are because I have seen 'ANTHONY ZIMMER' (the French film that 'The Tourist' is adapted from) prior to viewing this film. 'Anthony Zimmer', though extremely slow paced, has a clear idea of what it wants to do. It pains me to say that the few action sequences in 'Anthony Zimmer' are far more exciting and stylish compared to the few present in 'The Tourist'. The only aspect in which the Tourist succeeds in is THE VISUAL. Venice is spectacular and JOLIE is an absolute SEX BOMB in every dress (including her revealing night gown and mysterious cloak).

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Now, back to trashing the script. Apart from being muddled up, the script DOES NOT build up the two lead characters. REALLY!? ARE YOU SERIOUS!? YES! Instead, it develops Paul Bettany's SUPPORTING character rather well (spiteful and bitter like ME AT THIS MOMENT). It's not a comedy, but I can see why they submitted it as a comedy film for the GOLDEN GLOBES. It's hardly a romance, the two leads have inefficient screen time to bond-there are hardly any 'moments' (though the originally intended SHOWER SEX SCENE may have helped satisfy our thirst)... Anyways, yes, hardly a drama... you need proper characters for that. It's no action blockbuster BECAUSE YOU NEED ACTION SCENES TO CALL IT THAT.

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In summary, it is a film where characters (especially Johnny Depp) say funny lines; Angelina Jolie struts and looks BREATH TAKINGLY PERFECT 100% of the time; FANTABULOUS beginning and ENTERTAINING ending with a ... core. THOUGH, it would have been better if they left the ending AMBIGUOUS. I don't regret watching this film because of its stars, BUT I RESENT them agreeing to commit themselves to this 'script'. I LOVE JOLIE!!! It's been an action year for her (well sort of), hopefully she does a thrilling drama in the next year. ALSO, I hope she will win another oscar for playing CLEOPATRA. For Johnny, I hope the next 'Pirates' film lives up to the first two!

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P.S. WHY IS THIS MOVIE NOMINATED FOR A BEST PICTURE-COMEDY GOLDEN GLOBES? HAS IT REALLY BEEN THAT MEDIOCRE A YEAR FOR COMEDIES!? Oh yeah, the couples and women who walked out of this movie (from my theatre)... said it was good....

My final verdict! It was OK. If I was fair I would give it 6/10, but I love ANGELINA so 7!